Taiwan Taxes

Back in February, I received my Taiwan tax information from the local organization that is responsible for preparing my Taiwan taxes. The organization will go nameless because I don't want to get sued (which is highly unlikely because nobody ever actually reads my blog). I ignored it, and several follow up emails because, well, I'm an idiot.

So recently (late June), I decided to take a look at what was sent and do something. Whoops. It turns out that I had to supply lots of information about myself and my wife. Scramble, scramble, scramble, here's the information.

I owe what? I don't even pay that much in the US of A!!! No worries, my company has a "tax equalization" policy that ensures I don't pay any more or less in taxes than if I was working in the States.

And it is due when? June 30!!! OK, so my bad. I asked the folks in the organization that is responsible for my taxes in general (which shall also go unnamed) if they could pretty please transfer the huge amount of money to the organization that is responsible for my Taiwan taxes. Case closed.

Nope. It turns out that there have been some Homeland Security rule changes and the organization that is responsible for my taxes in general cannot transfer money to the organization this is responsible for my Taiwan taxes or people may die in Afghanistan.

The organization that is responsible for my taxes in general actually came through and got the mony transferred to a Taiwan bank account that I maintain for just such cases. However, I had to go to that bank and show my passport and sign some forms to prove that it was not drug money or terrorist money or Monopoly money or whatever. And then there were complications with the forms (my local bank is still operating with a fax machine). It all got finally sorted out (via telex) and I could pay my taxes with the special form that was sent to me by the organization that is reponsible for my Taiwan taxes via registered mail.

If you have complaints about the US Postal Service, save them. The Post Office in Taiwan makes the US Postal Service appear to have counter workers who are actually vertical. And the Taiwan Post Office is also some sort of bank. But not the kind of bank at which I can pay my tardy Taiwan taxes.

And this is the really funny (sad? boring?) part. The person at the organization that is responsible for my Taiwan taxes was just constantly emailing me because I was going to be LATE!!!! YOU. ARE. GOING. TO. BE. LATE!!!!! LATE I TELL YOU!!! If I don't pay my taxes by July 6, I will owe an additional 862 NTD. That's less than $30 USD. I spill more whiskey than that every week.

I went to the local other kind of bank on Wednesday (the kind of bank that also sells 25 pound bags of rice) with a Taiwanese co-worker, and guess what. They could not process the payment. I was informed that I had to go to the "tax bureau". Ahhhh, living life large and loving it. Can't a brother just pay his taxes?

There is a new plan in place, but it involves heavy machinery and a spatula. Wish me luck.