When I was living in the USA I had a habit of watching the same TV shows (almost) every day when I returned from work: Around the Horn, PTI, The Daily Show, and the Colbert Report. Have a tough time doing that now. For quite some time I have followed Around the Horn and PTI in audio on the Interweb, but only recently have I discovered that The Daily Show and the Colbert Report are available as full video feeds. Well don't I feel like a douche.

As I caught up on what I missed, it became alarmingly obvious that Jon Stewart's guests almost always were more A-list than Stephen's. Not to knock Stephen. He is almost as funny as Jon. But just for kicks I decided that I should review and provide empirical evidence. Tale of the tape:

27-Apr-09

Jon: Christine Legarde, somebody from France

Stephen: Elizabeth Bintliff, two F's

Winner: Nobody.

28-Apr-09

Jon: Cliff May, some Right Wing dick

Stephen: The Decemberists

Winner: Stephen. Music always tops Right Wing dicks.

29-Apr-09Jon: Doris Kearns Goodwin, historian

Stephen: Daniel, well, Gross

Winner: Jon. Doris rocks.

30-Apr-09Jon: Hugh Jackman, actor

Stephen: Ethan Nadelmann, two N's

Winner: Jon. No explanation required.

4-May-09

Jon: Denis Leary, comedian

Stephen: J.J. Abrams

Winner: Jon. See, this is what I am talking about. JJ Abrams is a good guest, but then Jon gets Denis Leary. Stephen has no chance.

5-May-09Jon: Fareed Zakaria, with a Z

Stephen: Paul Rieckhoff, bald white guy, two F's

Jon. People with an Arabic name are more interesting than bald white guys.

6-May-09

Jon: George Stephanopoulos

Stephen: Laurie Garrett, two R's and two T's

Winner: Jon. No explanation required. Except that I had to Google George's name to spell it correctly.

7-May-09

Jon: Ken Salazar, Secretary of the Interior

Stephen: Mitchell Joachim, some Left Wing nut

Winner: Jon. Mitchell was pretty cool though. Needs a haircut.

11-May-09Jon: Frank Partnoy, author

Stephen: Jeff Daniels, actor

Winner: Stephen. How did he pull this off?

12-May-09

Jon: Tom Hanks, actor

Stephen: Ron Howard, Opie

Winner: Jon. OK, I'm Stephen, and I book Opie. How can I lose? The only way I can lose is if Jon books Tom Hanks. F%#k.

13-May-09

Jon: Husain Haqqani, somebody from Pakistan

Stephen: Michael Pollan, food guy

Winner: Jon. Pakistan is more current. And I hate it when people try to become celebrities by talking about food.

14-May-09

Jon: Lisa P. Jackson, Head of the EPA

Stephen: Cat Stevens

Winner: Stephen. I always wondered about Cat but this cleared things up. Not really a bad dude, just a bit misguided.

So Jon 8, Stephen 3, Nobody 1. Maybe not the slam that I anticipated, but I think Jon is definitely fucking with Stephen.